Coping with Depersonalization and Derealization

1. Grounding Techniques

Grounding helps bring your focus back to the present moment when you feel detached.

• 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise: Look around and name:

  • 5 things you can see

  • 4 things you can touch

  • 3 things you can hear

  • 2 things you can smell

  • 1 thing you can taste

This simple exercise engages your senses and helps you reconnect with your surroundings.

• Physical Grounding: Try pressing your feet into the floor, touching a cold object, or clapping your hands. These physical actions remind your brain that you are in the present moment.

2. Mindful Breathing and Body Awareness

Focusing on your body and breath can help bring you back to the moment.

• Mindful Breathing: Breathe in slowly for four counts, hold for four, and then exhale for four. Repeat this a few times, paying attention to the rhythm of your breath.

• Body Scan: Close your eyes and slowly focus on each part of your body, starting at your feet and moving up to your head. This helps you reconnect with your physical self.

3. Reality Checks

When things feel unreal, grounding yourself in facts can help.

• Ask Yourself Simple Questions:

  • "Where am I right now?"

  • "What day is it?"

  • "What’s the time?"

  These questions help bring your attention back to reality.

• Focus on a Familiar Object: Pick something in your environment that has meaning to you, like a photo or a keepsake. This can help you feel more connected to the present.

4. Challenge Your Thoughts

Sometimes the thoughts that come with depersonalization or derealization can feel very real, but it’s important to challenge them.

• Question the Feeling: If you think, “I don’t feel real,” ask yourself, “What evidence do I have for this thought? Have I felt this way before, and did it pass?”

• Journaling: Write down when these feelings happen, what was going on, and what thoughts came with them. Over time, this can help you spot triggers or patterns.

5. Reconnect with Your Body

Since these experiences can make you feel disconnected from your body, engaging in physical activities can help.

• Muscle Relaxation: Try tensing and then relaxing each muscle group in your body, starting at your feet and working your way up. This brings your focus back to how your body feels.

• Exercise: Activities like walking, yoga, or even stretching can help you feel more connected to your body.

6. Shift Your Focus Outward

When your mind is focused inward and you feel disconnected, engaging with the outside world can help.

• Talk to Someone: Reach out to a friend or loved one. Talking can bring you back into reality and remind you that you’re not alone.

• Creative Activities: Drawing, writing, or listening to music can shift your attention away from the feelings of detachment and give you something real to focus on.

7. Have a Grounding Plan

It’s helpful to have a plan for what to do when these feelings come up.

• Coping Kit: Gather a few things that help you feel grounded, like a favorite scent, a small object with texture, or a list of grounding exercises, and keep them close by for when you need them.

• Create a Safe Space: Identify a spot where you feel safe and comfortable. When depersonalization or derealization hits, going to this space can help you feel more in control.

8. Be Kind to Yourself

It’s important to remember that depersonalization and derealization are often ways your mind tries to protect you from stress or trauma.

• Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself that this is just a feeling and that it will pass.

• Patience: Recovery takes time. It’s okay to feel frustrated, but remind yourself that learning to cope with these feelings is a process.

9. Get to the Root Cause

Sometimes these experiences are linked to things like anxiety, depression, or past trauma. Working with a therapist to explore these underlying issues can be very helpful.

10. Professional Help

If these feelings are overwhelming or happening frequently, working with a therapist can help. Therapy like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or specific trauma treatments can help you manage these experiences. Medication can also be helpful if anxiety or depression is contributing to the problem.

These steps can help you feel more connected to yourself and your surroundings, allowing you to regain a sense of control when depersonalization or derealization arise.